I am feeling a real itch to move. I can’t realistically move – for a variety of reasons – not the least of which is that I have just about enough money to buy a trailer in Omak. (Yes, Omak is a real place and when I talk about going to the middle of nowhere, Omak pretty much sums it up for me…) Okay, maybe I have a lil’ more money than that but you get my point.
This lil’ town I live in. Its the oddest place. I think I’m a pretty solitary kinda gal but when I walked my computer in the other day I realized people know who I am. Not in a “I’m gonna shave my head and go to rehab” kinda way. But I wondered what they were saying about me. Probably nothing, right? Casual conversation and they knew I was separated and I shouldn’t have felt anything. How did they know? And I felt like this stage of mine, my life, it wasn’t mine. And I thought about the awful things that were said in the papers my husband filed. And I wondered if they knew those half truths.
And my Seattle mailing list – my lifeline to the life I used to have – today we were yacking back and forth about potty humor in commercials and I tossed out the insane things people say on myspace – like no one will ever read it! – the world is becoming a crass, crass place and I wonder…why can’t the world be just a tiny bit more elegant?