Strange as it seems
I see you in all of my dreams
There is something about last spring that was so magical, and yet so miserable at the same time. Earlier today I had an amazing EPIC post running through the front of my brain – all metaphor and light – a post to remember. Sadly, life stepped in and all the wonderful words that were spinning such beautiful pictures…whoosh! Out they ran – to be replaced with TPN tubes and circular knitting and oncologists.
I’ve been leaning on last spring a lot the past few weeks. Remembering the amazing way that you walked across the club, the way those weekends were like lil’ movies. I called your little town “Twin Peaks” and I wasn’t far off. Actually, it’s probably a bit more “Northern Exposure” – either way, your little town was a welcome oasis for this slightly off-center creative weirdo. I loved dropping into the Valley, the lush greenery in the middle of Eastern Nowhere. A celebration of the end of a Very Wretched Drive.
If it really were a story I’d say the climax was the Goldenboy show. Sitting on a couch watching an amazing performance, my toes in your lap. But it isn’t a story – and a climax only means that the rest is downhill, a drift to an ending…
My sister sat on my bed, knitting her purple cotton yarn on circular needles, making yet another tube to be ripped the next day, and cried. She said she didn’t want to die like this. And then she said the impossible…”you’re the boss”.
If I were clever this is where I would apply metaphor. The same metaphor I thought off the last time I posted. I speed knit to completion. She knits. She’s way brighter than me. She’s also snarkier but we won’t go there. She might get peeved and then my newly appointed position as boss would be in jeopardy.
So tomorrow we get a feeding tube. And we page the UW doctor that gave her his pager number in December. And we say, I say…”help”.
Ugh. I’m really in a pretty decent mood 🙂