In my little inch of the world today is Christmas. I had a really wonderful Christmas. Ruby was *excited*! Last year she was so sick she didn’t even want to open presents. Ack.
Not fabulous. Oh, and I had just spent the night in the slammer – November 26, 2007 (long story…and no, I didn’t do it and no, I wasn’t charged – so there!) – needless to say, that put a bit of a damper on my Holiday Spirit.
Divorce was bubbling over and became final December 11, 2007 – the day before my birthday. Derek was in town for ten days or so before Christmas – and it was tense, to say the least. In retrospect, well…Those were some of the last days we spent together…
And the snow. The snow everywhere. The snow that makes me smile just because is exists. Just because it flutters and flurries. So pure, so clean, so deadly, yet we are so insulated, so blessed. It snows and I think of The Long Winter (Laura Ingalls Wilder) and I am happy that I have more than one potato to eat.
It’s really that simple. I was in my teens when mom found a tin camping cup for my stocking. Just like Laura. Amazing the way things like that can fill your heart til’ you nearly burst.
The other day Chad told me about his daughter, how he was holding her when she just a little thing, and he put into words – that absolute terror and bliss – pure love and responsibility for that tiny little life. (How can I not adore a man like that?)
Babies everywhere – the neighbor downstairs, two for the Steckers, abundance…life. I’m all over the place tonight. Not sad, not happy, not anything but thinking. Thinking to distraction. Thinking to…well, ugh. (and you wonder why I can’t seem to finish my designs these days…)
The economy is shot to hell but, nostalgia and romance being what they are, it feels better than it should.
Merry Christmas and a sparkle of kindness to all….