Have You Seen This Nativity?

It would be lovely if you have seen this nativity – because I no longer see it. That’s right. Last night my Favorite Christmas Yard Decor EVER was STOLEN. The above photo shows an enthusiastic Hayley, complete with green hair and microphone (don’t ask….)

Not only is it my Favorite Christmas Yard Decor EVER it is also a source of Christmas Delight for my dear little ones.

Hayley knocked on my door this morning to tell me about the crime and I truly thought she was preparing to tell me that someone had passed. She was THAT UPSET. She knows they can be replaced – that wasn’t the issue. Hayley was upset that someone would steal a nativity scene on the day before Thanksgiving – to quote Hayley, “what the poo, mom? what kind of person takes a nativity! the day before Thanksgiving? what the poo????”.

We take Christmas seriously around here. It is the mother of all routines, it is the ritual that keeps all our crazy in check. That nativity reminds my kiddies that everything in the stinkin’ world might change or fall apart but mommy…daddy…family…and THAT NATIVITY will always be there. Just like the silly weird Elf-Mobile / Carousel thing was always there for me. Nice job, silly robbers. Nice job.

Last month Ruby & Gabby brought Baby Jesus, Mary & Joseph in from the garage (not a mommy-approved action, I might add…). After a lot of scurrying, duct tape, sheets, and intense rehearsal the girls debuted the Several Act Play – “Do You Support Us?” – featuring Baby Jesus.

See?

To say that I am steamed would be an understatement. The sad, sad scenarios play over and over in my head…

– Baby Jesus guarding a cooler of beer…

– The Wise Men gussied up in bad lingerie…

– Baby Jesus as some sort of lighted centerpiece for Ironic Hipsters…

I could go on and on and on…

But the point is this (and this and this and this…)

• That was my stinkin’ nativity.
• I have to defend – every year – Christmas According to Tracy, “Why I Have a Nativity But Don’t Attend Church”. Annoying.
• I have to argue – every year – that it is imperative a make-shift lean-to is constructed, hung with non-Bethlehem appropriate greenery, and lit up like a motor inn on the Vegas Reno strip.
• I have to tolerate all sorts of Tolerant People that, oh the freakin’ irony, can’t seem to tolerate my Christian decor….can’t seem to understand it. Get over it and Be Tolerant already, okay? Ridiculous.

I forget my point. Let’s take another look at Do You Support Us…

But let me say this, oh Rude Robbers of My Nativity…I will be looking for you. You broke a gosh-darn commandment – and for what? Clever Dorm Decor? Shame on you!

So that leaves me stamping my feet, shaking my fist, and wondering what on earth I will say to the girls when they get back from their Thanksgiving travels. Roar.